I am trying hard not to be impossibly lazy and come up with a proper updated blog post. Something that required some reflection before it clutters the wasteland known as the internet.
It's like ive hit this roadblock with my writing; these days im either only writing in legal english or posting lyrics that just take out the need for explanation. I suppose ive also reached the stage where i feel almost self-conscious to dwell on myself for too long, even in a private medium like my blog. Like who cares what your "shitty" life is like when the rest of the world has bigger problems.
Its like this process of growing up got accelerated in the 13 weeks since school properly started. You start to see things a little differently, appreciate different things in life and think about the world differently as well. The neuroticism of the people around you also starts to rub in and colour your life differently. In a microcosm where everyone is a little weird, weird almost becomes normal.
And i suppose thats why there sometimes feels like a divide when i step in and out of school. It's easy to label it elitism and call me names, but believe me, it really isn't. When you spend such a huge amount of time in a controlled environment, the rest of the outside world just seems so far away. So you start to retreat from the outside and stay within this little bubble where you dont need to explain your pain and pressures coz everyone is going through the same thing. It's just that when there is such an intensity in the things you experience, it becomes hard to spell it out for someone else who hasnt felt the same things. It's not that my pressures are worse than yours; it's just not the same.
Exactly how NS guys would say to girls that they wouldn't understand. They're not being elitist or condescending; they are just unable to put into words accurately what they went through. So forgive me if i'm too tired to explain the troubles (as well as overwhelming joy) of school and you are really not expected to tell me that you understand. :)
So if you think you've had enough of me rambling on about school, STOP NOW. The rest of the post is going to be completely school-related.
I had my first experience of being a witness at a criminal trial. Admittedly not the most accurate experience, but a learning point nonetheless. My senior's trial advocacy examination just showcased to me the crazy world of litigation; THE INSANE PRESSURE OF SAYING THE RIGHT THINGS and the IMPOSSIBLE BURDEN OF PROTECTING YOUR CLIENT. Exciting times ahead :D the difficulties of litigation only serves to get me more excited about the future.
And in between rushing out assignments and prepping for exams, ive managed to go get myself embroiled in romantic relations. Yes there is a boy and yes youve probably seen how he looks like by now. No we are not together, in terms of both proximity and status. But i dont even care about that anymore. The reality is, we've known each other for effectively 13 weeks and we're already behaving like old friends. So it really doesn't matter that i dont get to call him my boyfriend or any other inane social decorum thats part of the realm of romantic relationships. Given the time we spend together and the hilarious moments we share, this is just about good enough for me. For now. ;p I think this is the most open ive been lol its kind of a scary feeling.
Right. So i managed to cough up a coherent, self-written post. Good job, me. Hopefully my laziness doesnt throw me right back to posting lyrics again.
